Giving Praise to Portly People

Stay away from these “Really stepped up to the plate” “They are a big influence in my life” “Always bites off more than they can chew” “Brings a lot to the table” “He left big shoes to fill” “Well rounded person” “That fat-a$$ son of a b!+c# will be missed”

Tips for Chewing Gum

Chewing gum is on my short list as one of the worst things ever invented. Here is a short guide to maximize everyone’s enjoyment of your gum chewing Chew with your mouth open like a cat eating peanut butter Pop it against the roof of your mouth Blow bubbles then suck them in to make [...]

Navigating a Crowd

I read this article that talks about not running into people by keeping your eyes on your destination. Well, I guess that would work for me not running into people, but it wouldn’t stop them from bouncing off me. The problem is, other people don’t know where they are going half the time. They aren’t [...]

Guide to Tipping

I’ve changed my strategy over the years, but I do not subscribe to automatic tipping. 20% is the max and it goes down from there. 10% Deductions If the waiter attempts to show off and not write your order down and either gets the order wrong or has to come back to verify the order. [...]

Guide to Self Checkout

No light items Items must be heavy enough to register on the bagging scale. Kool-aid packets are a great example. Crystal “light” is Ok. Respect the Item Limits Self Checkout is not for full buggies, couponers or hoarders filling the fallout shelter for the next apocalypse. Know the Code It needs to have a bar code! [...]