But I don’t even work here!

If you ever want to draw attention to yourself, wear a red shirt with tan pants to Target. If you are caught in this situation, you have two options: Tell them you don’t work there, or try to help them out anyway, such as… Direct them to isles that don’t exist Recommend certain “personal” items, [...]

Wal-Mart Shopping Carts

I think Wal-mart is the only company that doesn’t maintain their shopping carts. They’ve come up with a trick that will encourage you to endure the punishment of wobbly wheels for the shopping duration. The trick is they cover the solarium with a bunch of uneven stone tiles. You won’t notice the wheels are busted [...]

God and Cheetos

Got behind a lady at Walmart buying one of those teeny tiny bags of Cheetos. Of course she had a gift card and wanted to check the balance, then decide not to use it. Then pull out a wad of bills only to decide to use exact change. But wait, there’s more, she had to [...]

My History with Feminine Products

I think all guys are required to buy feminine products for their spouse as a married man right of passage. It’s a humbling experience and a awkward one if there is another woman in the aisle. Almost as awkward when you ask a waiter for a sanitary napkin, when what you really meant was a [...]

The Customer is Usually Wrong

The customer is ultimately the one who gives you money, but that shouldn’t make them right. Customers should implore some common sense before they go asking inane questions to store associates. I worked in retail for a few years at Office Depot and it was quite frustrating to deal with some people. Most of the [...]

Shopping at Best Buy

I enjoy shopping at Best Buy, only because they provide bar codes for me to scan so that I can order from Amazon.com. If Best Buy would price match Amazon, I think they would do well. Every once and awhile an associate will ask. “What are you doing?” and I reply. “Saving money”.

Navigating a Crowd

I read this article that talks about not running into people by keeping your eyes on your destination. Well, I guess that would work for me not running into people, but it wouldn’t stop them from bouncing off me. The problem is, other people don’t know where they are going half the time. They aren’t [...]

I don’t know why I ever go back to Wal-mart.

Sure they have some great prices, but good grief it’s not worth it about 99.99% of the time. Once you pick a buggy you can’t tell it’s got a busted wheel until you roll it over two levels of cobblestone entrance tile and hit a smooth surface. By then, they are banking on the fact [...]

Guide to Self Checkout

No light items Items must be heavy enough to register on the bagging scale. Kool-aid packets are a great example. Crystal “light” is Ok. Respect the Item Limits Self Checkout is not for full buggies, couponers or hoarders filling the fallout shelter for the next apocalypse. Know the Code It needs to have a bar code! [...]